Knowing where I'm going

I'm wondering whether this should be on my Camino Blog or should I start a separate blog altogether, but seeing as you are all following this one, I'll keep it on here for now.

Speaking of 'you all' Who are you? I don't know who you are all really, I just keep getting threats from my father that he keeps getting requests for more blogs from me, he is very clandestine and won't tell me who is sending in the requests. Foil his mysterious plan and tell me who you are in the comments, either on facebook or below. I'm so curious as to who'd be listening to my babblings.

Right, Where was I?

Oh Yes.

I know where I'm going now.

For the last month and a half, since leaving the Camino, I have had no real long term plan. I have been Unable to plan past starting my job on the 22nd of July. That's where my plan just ended, like a cut string. I had been waiting for paperwork to get through, for the HR department to get going and for the department to get the rota together for the next few months of my life.

I have been in a highly organised system of education for the past twenty two years, even if I had a summer of nothing to do, I always had school starting in September to hang up the responsibility of planning. I always filled empty time with other things though like working, TEFL courses and the most important of all travelling. Time has always been precious to me, or at least since I was old enough to appreciate what little time we all have on our hands, and planning what time I have is so important to me, being unable to plan is hell.

Now the last few weeks have been torture, I have had so many friends ask me when I can travel to see them, when I can have free time to meet up and I haven't been able to give them a concrete answer. Now that I have moved away, I know that it is really important to make time to see the people I love. But I couldn't, until now, make plans. I just got a glorious email from my new boss letting me know my new rota for the next 8 weeks!!!!! I can plan for 8 WEEKS!

It is so lovely! I can go home for a weekend, I can go to Edinburgh for a weekend to see people, I can meet people in London who are coming down, I can go out to Penzance to go surfing for a weekend. I can live like a human being! one who is getting paid and can plan her life!

Gosh Its almost like gaining my freedom, which is odd because I'm going to have to work so hard for it, but in a way there is a freedom in that too. I know I'm just starting here, but I'm going in the right direction. I'm going to feel silly and stupid and nervous for the first few weeks, but then, I'll get over it, I'll know stuff, and then the students will come back, hopefully first years and it will all be easy, because everyone is better than first years.

Dan mentioned something the other day, he told me that people starting at my level are automatically, financially more well off than 75% of the population in the UK. It certainly doesn't feel like it. It feels like I'm starting right at the bottom again, knowing this though it does make me so grateful for where I am now.

Is this what it feels like to have a life?

I'll let you know in a few months.

In the mean time I'm going to be setting up a new blog I think, or going back to one I abandoned. I have a few short stories I need to write to get out of my head. Would anybody be interested in reading them?

All my love my people.

xx

Grace